“America’s Sweethearts” star Julia Roberts had several A-list romances before she found true love with cinematographer Danny Moder. However, they were both romantically involved with other people at the time of their meeting. When it became clear that their attraction was there to stay, Roberts left her boyfriend, but Moder’s wife would not divorce him. Roberts reportedly paid her to hurry up the process to be with the love of her life.
“Pretty Woman” actress Julia Roberts has been a leading lady in various films throughout her career, earning herself worldwide recognition and a top spot on the whos-who in Hollywood.
She has established one of the most eclectic CVs, with over 60 acting credits across nearly four decades. And just like her high-ranking career, Roberts has also had some high-profile romances with Hollywood bigwigs such as Liam Neeson, Dylan McDermott, and Kiefer Sutherland, among many others.
The actress first tested the dating pool after she and “Schindler’s List” actor Liam Neeson got together in 1987. Unfortunately, their romantic tryst did not culminate into anything more, and the two broke up a year later.
Between 1988 and 1992, the legendary movie star was linked to several hunks, including “The Lost Boys” actor Jason Patric, “24” star Kiefer Sutherland, “The Practice” actor Dylan McDermott and “Friends” actor Matthew Perry.
She even had a brief stint in marriage after walking down the aisle with Lyle Lovett in 1993, but that too was shortlived, and the pair split in 1995.
Eventually, the love she constantly desired found her in an unlikely place when she and Danny Moder met on the set of “Mexican” in 2000. Moder, a professional cinematographer, was working on the film in which Roberts starred as Samantha Barzel.
They were immediately smitten with each other, but pursuing a romance was not in the plans as Moder was still married to Vera Steimberg while Roberts was in a relationship with “Present Danger” actor Benjamin Bratt.
Speaking to Oprah in 2003, Roberts revealed that they started as friends and remained so for a long time as she, too, was in a relationship:
“I could see how wonderful he was, but we were both in relationships at the time, so we were just friends.”
Roberts eventually admitted to herself that she had fallen in love with Moder, and when asked how she felt about that, she said it was horrible — first because she did not want to lose a friend and also because Moder was still married.
Despite their situation, the two knew there was no denying what they felt for each other, and in 2001, Moder filed for divorce. On the other hand, Roberts, who people thought would indeed marry Bratt, also confessed that she was in love with someone else and ended things with him.
Shortly after Moder ended things with his wife, Roberts received criticism, with many blaming her for being the reason Moder’s marriage ended. However, she clarified things saying that Moder had sorted his stuff out separately and apart from her while she sorted out her stuff individually and apart from him.
For Roberts, finding Danny meant everything to her. He was her person and the reason her life made sense. He became the shine inside of her.
Moder brought so much into her life and made her feel comfortable and confident in her skin. He pointed out aspects of her, both good and bad, and she did not have to alter herself to look good in his eyes.
In the ensuing years, people would think of Roberts as fickle about men and had this perception that she always fell in love with leading men. However, she quickly shut down the floating speculation with the theory that anyone out there could be in her situation, observing that she only received that much backlash for it because she was a famous figure.
While she had been in love before, she felt her relationship with Moder was solid because if not, the media attention it received would have killed it within no time.
As soon as Moder and Roberts learned they were in love, they hurried to end their romantic commitments so they could be together, but Moder’s wife would have none of it.
According to the New York Post, she first refused divorce, calling Roberts a “husband-stealer.” She believed that Moder would cheat on Roberts just as he had on her:
“It won’t last with her anyway. She [Roberts] will be looking for a new husband within a year. Danny has a roving eye…and he won’t change.”
She revealed that she was still married to Moder when Roberts started courting him, baring it open that she would never forgive the “Runaway Bride” for ruining her marriage.
Steimberg, a make-up artist for actor and comic Eddie Murphy, delayed the divorce for as long as she could but eventually gave up. A neighbor of the Moders revealed that he left her with two mortgages and a stack of bills.
Later, it was revealed that Roberts had allegedly paid Steimberg a whopping $264,000 to hurry up the divorce. While she wouldn’t discuss the figure, Steimberg was furious because she believed that the “Sleeping With The Enemy” actress was obsessed with her husband:
“Julia has been desperate to get him down the aisle, and she’d got her wish. I never wanted to lose him, but I’ve given up now.”
Roberts and Moder loved each other immensely, and the actress credited their close bond to spending plenty of time together. She noted that in most of her previous relationships, they spent time apart when filming, often leaving a void. But it was different with Moder, and she confessed that they would spend up to 21 hours a day together.
Sadly, despite their mutual love and adoration for one another, the beginning of their life together was marred with challenges and uncertainties.
Moder’s family was unaccepting of Roberts and accused her of stealing Moder from his first wife. They even blamed her for hastening the death of Moder’s mother and hijacking family events. And even though Roberts strived to befriend the family, they remained unaccepting of her, and the conflict continued for a long time.
The controversies surrounding their coming together were unending. Around the same time everything was happening, Roberts wore a T-shirt reading “A LOW VERA,” which some thought was a mockery of Moder’s ex-wife.
However, when asked about it, the “Eat, Pray, Love” actress said it was private and stood by her T-shirt. However, she also noted that the press was known to dramatize everything and cause a frenzy over things they shouldn’t.
Nevertheless, all husband-stealing accusations and blame aside, the divorce went through. Soon after, Roberts and Moder tied the knot in a private ceremony at her 82-acre ranch in Taos, New Mexico.
The July 4, 2002, midnight ceremony was a surprise even to the attendees, as they had all been there to celebrate Independence Day, according to what the invitations said.
Sixty or so close friends and family of the actress had boarded planes to the actress’ ranch and hung out by the pool chatting, playing football and basketball, and relishing some homemade turkey the actress had whipped up that afternoon.
When dusk set in, some asked to retire to bed, but Roberts asked them to hang in there for a little longer. By midnight, the group settled around in a semicircle outside a 19th-century morada on the property.
The Chinese lanterns and flickering candles around them were an obvious sign that something was up, but none of those present could place a finger on what was up the actress’ sleeve.
However, a short while later, the “Valentine’s Day” star and her beau appeared and stood under the arch, decorated with pink and white sheaths. It was only then that most of the guests understood what was happening.
The realization soon turned into cheers that echoed all through the property. Moder then got on one knee and asked Roberts to marry him, to which she excitedly answered, “Yes, Yes, Yes,” while grabbing her heart. The guests echoed her answer, even as cheers of celebration graced the night.
The ceremony lasted a short 20 minutes and was officiated by Barry Hirsch, a lawyer and Roberts’ long-time friend. There were also no flower girls, bridesmaids, or groomsmen — only two people with stars in their eyes under a clear July night sky.
Resounding laughter marked the ceremony’s success, as Roberts’ friend and business partner Elaine Goldsmith Thomas and her husband, Dan Thomas, stamped their witness signs on the couple’s marriage certificate. A friend recounted the events saying:
“There was great relief, complete and utter joy that these two people found each other.”
Their wedding night was an exceptionally excellent way to start their life together. Decades later, the marriage has done her good; because of it, she has met people and experienced all the little things that have nurtured her life.
Despite an unorthodox start to their marriage, the past two decades have been fulfilling for the “Hook” actress and her husband. They went on to have three beautiful children, twin daughters and a son.
Despite a prolific career, the actress, at some point, stopped taking on roles in favor of raising her family. And even when her youngest started kindergarten, she was still unsure whether she wanted to return to work.
However, she could always count on her husband for sound advice. She disclosed that she almost turned down her role in “August: Osage County,” but her husband pushed her to take it:
“He was right to push me because if he said ‘I don’t know,’ I would have been like: ‘I don’t either! I’m not going!’ That’s the female plight. That feeling of leaving is hard.”
Never one to obsess over her fame, Roberts insists that most days, she is a regular housewife and soccer mom. She relishes the small things like making breakfast for her family and ferrying her children to school.
It has been twenty years of bliss for the two, and despite Steimberg saying they wouldn’t last long, they have proven her wrong. While her successful acting career is a dream come true for her, the life she’s built with her husband and kids is equally essential.
Spending time with her family is one of her best pastimes, and she’d never been away from them for too long until she jetted off to Australia to film “Ticket to Paradise.” She wrote many letters to her family for the 62 days she was away.
And while she could have easily written them emails, letter-writing is a tradition she and Moder have carried on for years. She confessed that she still had Moder’s first 7-page-long letter to her, revealing that she would one day show it to her daughter, so she knew what to expect when she started dating.
She is a self-proclaimed homemaker, and while it is not kittens and rainbows every day, it brings her immense joy. And after being married so long, she knows exactly what she has to do to keep the fire going in her marriage. She disclosed that making out was her secret to such a long marriage.
She credits her husband for keeping her grounded: “He has helped me protect my person and keep my person where I want to be.” Meeting him brought such an incredible shift to her life, and to this day, he is her favorite human.
He has been a wonderful husband to her and an even more loving dad to their kids, and Roberts says she is more interested in what Moder has to say than anyone else.
The feeling is mutual, and Moder thinks of Roberts as a beautiful girl. In one of his Instagram posts dated July 5, 2021, he posed for a photo with his wife, captioned:
“Today, we start our 20th year of marriage. This photo was on a dusty road before that big idea … just holding on to this beautiful girl one day at a time. One epic day at a time.”
Roberts feels that they have been lucky to experience love as they have and enjoy each other’s company. And even after so much time together, their relationship keeps getting better.
